I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
