i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i think i just lost a toe
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
