do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Randomize
