Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
