everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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