Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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