i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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