Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Alive.
So much puke
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
