he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
