help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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