my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
try to milk me bitch
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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