When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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