Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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