ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Alive.
So much puke
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
