hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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