i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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