Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
