...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
