Where is the hickey?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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