Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
