I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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