So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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