Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
