question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
