We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
