i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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