your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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