in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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