you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
