Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
