last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
