She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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