I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bring me that man meat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
