i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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