remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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