you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
