I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
the liver wants what the liver wants
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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