ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
