i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
