I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
