whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
