I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We are all done wearing pants today
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
