so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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