I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
