I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
