i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
