we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
