she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
