careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
