do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
