I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
